buoys move & sh!t happens

Posted in arts of the sailor, buoys, learn from them, pump out, USCG, USCG buoy tender by bowsprite on 2010/09/13

A Patchogue captain returning from Boston squeezed through Shinnecock Inlet, and was making good speed when he suddenly ran hard aground in Moriches Bay.

“I don’t understand! I’m in the channel!” said he, as he pulled out his paper charts and peered at his GPS. And—as real life is stranger than fiction—while he was there, a Coast Guard boat came from behind him, picked up the channel buoy, and dropped it about fifty yards east of where he’d grounded, and disappeared.

“Ah, ” he said as he slowly listed 45° to one side, “NOW I’m out of the channel.”

A Port Jefferson greenhorn was a glutton for punishment: electrocution from lightning, several dismastings, near sinkings and allisions were not enough to dissuade the new sailor from the sport. On one early voyage, he managed to bring his wearied self and his disheveled vessel to a dock where he found himself tied next to a fancy boat:  “There was a couple sitting on white cushions, they had white-carpeted boarding steps and a white french poodle.”  Our sailor wrestled to pump out his holding tank. “It exploded. It went all over everything. It went everywhere.”

Many, many thanks, Capt. Tim of the Flaming Scorpion Bowls!
and thank you, N!

15 Responses

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  1. John Huntington said, on 2010/09/19 at 09:06

    Great as always!

  2. jeff anzevino said, on 2010/09/19 at 10:01

    For the captain’s sake, i hope his misfortune occurred at low tide.

    As for the folks with a penchant for white… I feel sorry for the poodle.

  3. Barista Uno said, on 2010/09/19 at 10:02

    You’re a good artist and a good storyteller. Why on earth can’t I be either or both?

  4. mookoo1 said, on 2010/09/19 at 12:50

    Shinnecock Inlet opens up into Shinnecock Bay, not Moriches. I know these inlets from windsurfing…Shinnecock inlet’s jetty is the eastern border of The Bowl (scene of my shark encounter) whilst Moriches Inlet forms the western border of Cupsogue (where I haven’t sailed recently.)

    I do love “NOW I’m out of the channel”!

    • Capt. Tim said, on 2010/09/22 at 17:38

      Shinnecock Bay is connected to Moriches Bay via the Quogue Canal.

      • bowsprite said, on 2010/09/22 at 18:07

        …which you dredged just a bit deeper with your hull. The Army Corps thanks you.

  5. tugster said, on 2010/09/19 at 16:03

    your bottom drawing evokes another “blowout preventer” failure. wonder if this was made by the same manufacturer as the one that failed at macondo. your tale–bottom one–adds the already-rich literature of scatology.

    check these out:


    • bowsprite said, on 2010/09/22 at 22:47

      oh no! I will NOT link to no. i will not.

  6. […] more » […]

  7. Buck said, on 2010/09/20 at 09:51

    Love these!

    Tell the second sailor to pump OUT, not pump UP (inflate)… Ewwww.

  8. Mageb said, on 2010/09/21 at 08:13

    Oh, delightful. lol

  9. Vagabonde said, on 2010/09/22 at 12:25

    I enjoyed that, and loved the sketch

  10. These are both funny little anecdotes. I guess that’s when you have to take your hat off – scratch your head – and submit to life.

  11. Bonnie said, on 2011/03/01 at 10:52

    I just linked to this from my Buoy Crazy post comments section.

    I almost put the link in the post itself, where I refer to this occasional tendency of buoys to lead you astray, but I was afraid that if I sent people here that early in the post, they would be too enchanted over here to bother coming back! 😀

    But the story goes GREAT with what I put up last night. Hope people come read it.

  12. Brandon said, on 2011/05/03 at 09:03

    I like the story about the exploding pumpty dumpty,

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